Linda Wechter-Ashkin PhD NCSP BC-TMHC ADHD CCSP
I have heard so many women describe pregnancy as a time where they felt their most alive and most beautiful. Good for you!! That however was not so much my experience. I have terrible eating habits and have been known to starve myself all day and then have a high carbohydrate dinner. Now I had to eat balanced meals like an adult. My favorite drinks at the time were coffee, diet coke, and wine, all which would have to go. The scale was going up and the doctor said to stop training for the marathon and take to just walking. My clothes didn’t fit so I had to go shopping for clothes I knew I wouldn’t be wearing again. Overall, my body became something that wasn’t mine. I felt guilty when I would listen to women talk about the joys of pregnancy. I just wanted my baby to come out and play and give me my body back. I hate to go to the doctor, and I am terrified when I have to wait for test results which is a constant for pregnancy. I had to pee every three seconds, couldn’t sleep, and as time went on, I felt like a giant weeble.
But there was the kicking. The reality that right inside me was my growing baby. I loved laying on the couch and feeling the baby move. It was the most remarkable thing I have ever experienced, to feel a human, your human, turn from a poppy seed into someone who can kick hard enough for you to see the imprint of their little feet. I was not a fan of the changes that my body went through during pregnancy. I didn’t like the limitations on what I could do, eat, and drink. But man, I felt close to God and so very blessed with the miracle inside of me. I hate how my body felt but still I praised God every day for the blessing of the baby inside of me. I asked him every day, to prepare me for taking care of this new life. If you are pregnant, I pray you are one of the glowing ones. But if not, as you eat your stupid avocado toast with a bottle of water on your way for yet another test, remember how blessed you are and look up for a moment and thank the God of miracles.